1. You need to stop watching sappy TV shows at one in the morning. Seriously. It only leads to bad things. You should know this by now.
2. You are not alone.
You are the love story in your mother’s eyes.
You are the sass in your brother’s jokes,
the backtalk in his jaw.
You are the only place to turn when no one else will listen.
You are the smile in someone’s eyes,
when you make accidental eye contact from across the room.
You are someone’s mystery.
You are not alone.
You are important.
3. It does not mean you are weak to want someone, to long for someone’s arms around you on these empty nights when all you want to do is cry.
It does not mean you are weak if you long to cry.
Invite your fears in, offer them the coziest parts
of your heart.
Curl up beside them in your underwear and let them see you
at your worst. But come morning,
pull yourself out of bed.
Make some coffee
but offer them none.
Show them the door.
You owe them nothing.
4. You really gotta stop telling people how you often picture the fairy tales
after the happily ever after.
Don’t paint them the picture of the day
when Cinderella and Prince Charming
can’t stand to be in the same room anymore,
when they finally let that glass slipper
You can’t tell people that you don’t believe in true love.
They will never understand.
They will think it’s their job to prove you wrong.
5. No, everyone else is not in love.
No, everyone else is not happy.
6. When they ask you where your boyfriend is,
When they ask you why you’re still single,
When they ask you if you are a lesbian,
simply because you are alone
on New Years
Don’t laugh it off.
Don’t let them win.
Tell them exactly where they can shove their gender roles.
Tell them you forgot to find yourself a boyfriend
while you were out there figuring out just how to live
up to their expectations.
Tell them that their generation fought so hard
to preserve the sanctity of marriage,
and you really don’t want to fuck that up
than they did.
7. You are not broken.
So maybe you’re not perfect.
You cry too easily and find sadness
where others see light.
You laugh at your own jokes.
You believe in grand gestures
and forget that life
is not an ’80s movie.
You often say things you don’t mean
and yet the words of others
linger in your heart
like the first lie you ever told.
Goodbyes come too easily
and you are too damn stubborn
to ever look back,
so you’ll keep waiting for the one
with highways in his veins,
the one who will not take goodbye for an answer.
Some days, you feel like your tired soul
is decades too old
and all you want to do is sleep.
But this is what makes you beautiful.
This is honest
and this is you.
That is all that matters.
© Amanda Bialon